Social Matters: Books to read on rainy days

by: Dustin Ancheta
2008-08-07

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The streets are once again wet (or worse, flooded) because of the “scattered rain showers and thunderstorms”, giving you a good reason to stay indoors.

Human beings are very social creatures and being secluded, under siege by torrents of water while there is a power outage, can be maddening. But it is sometimes okay to take a break from practical human interaction and hone your social skills by reading books that will help with your theoretical knowledge of sociology.

Here are some such books that you can add to your “non-electronic indoor-entertainment kit”:

Body Language by Barbara and Allan Pease

The Good: It’s easy to read and understand. It describes sociological and behavioral secrets that scientists the world over have been studying for decades, without making you feel like you’re trying to make heads or tails of a science journal. It’s a light read that would definitely educate you on the nuances of body language and the phenomenal success it might lend you.

The Bad: At times it sounds so theoretical that it’s hard to believe. There’s also the fact that most of the tips and advice given in the book are hard to apply in real life. There’s a major difference between reading about behavioral gestures on a book and reading it on people, and the book at times makes you feel like you can do the latter like an expert. There’s also the little issue of the book being predominantly based on American culture and hence, some of the situations cited may not apply to ours.

The Bottom-line: However much it makes you feel like you’re making a fool of yourself observing people, the book still imparts knowledge that anyone, no matter who or what they do can utilize. The fact is, with the over increasing alienation and isolation that the 21st century is evolving into, you could use some extra help in increasing your empathy—whether you’re negotiating on a boardroom or debating with your spouse.

Why Men Don’t Listen And Why Women Can’t Read Maps by Barbara and Allan Pease

The Good: It answers probably every question on why Men and Women are different and how to deal with these differences without making you feel like you’re reading something like “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”. It’s simple, direct and talks to the layman clearly and honestly, letting them know the differences why women act the way they do and why men act the way they do. There’s also an entire section devoted to homosexuality where the book offers a “biological and scientific” explanation on why some people are gay which is a fresh perspective from the “it’s my choice” argument of some homosexuals.

The Bad: At one point, the book and its contents can turn the reader into a defeatist, apologetic mush. Since the book asserts that all our differences are biological in nature, some readers might see this as an excuse to act the way they do. It’s also apologetic in that it sits in the “nature” part of the fence when the discussion goes to “nature versus nurture” argument, of which a quarter of the book is devoted into.

The Bottom-line: READ IT. The good things about this book absolutely and categorically outweigh the bad parts of it. The bad part is in itself not that bad as you can really just look at it as a way of balancing the information you’ve just read. Whether you’re in a relationship, want to be in a relationship or just plain curious, the book is absolutely too enlightening to pass up.

The Game by Neil Strauss

The Good: A fun, almost tongue-in-cheek read that lets you enter into a world that you otherwise wouldn’t have the courage or the audacity to try. The book, aptly subtitled, “Penetrating the Society of Pickup Artists” is the supposed true story of how the author enters into the world of pickup artists and how he uses it to have near-impossible and outrageous social adventures. The book is a wonderful romp into the world of status, money, power and seduction, seen through the eyes of someone who goes from an AFC—the Average Frustrated Chump—into a pickup artist that could probably only exist in movies.

The Bad: Aside from the possibility that the book might fill some otherwise calm minds with implausible and downright crazy ideas, the book is often too outrageous to believe. Sure it’s a very fun and entertaining read and it takes you through the nuances of The Game but there’s a fine distinction between what you can do in real life and a finely embellished “true-to-life story”.

The Bottom-line: At the end of the day however, The Game is something no man or woman should go without reading. If the first two recommended books equips you with the social weapons you need to succeed, this one serves as a cautionary tale on what you might just face with too much success.

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